Tolstoy's Intention

Tolstoy's Intention

It seems to me that one of Tolstoy's intentions was to show that the greatest personal fulfillment is found in the family, a marriage between two loving partners that produces children and is large enough to include an extended family member such as a mother-in-law, a nephew, etc.

All of our (alive) major characters finish the book in a successful marital state: Pierre and Natasha, and Nikolai and Marya, and so it seems that for Tolstoy marriage may be the best possible end of his characters' lives.  What do we think about marriage and the family in this text?

 In the first half of the book, the family that dominates the scene is the Rostovs.  The count and the little countess love one another, they love and sacrifice for their children, they provide for Sonya, and while I am glossing over some of the Rostovs' imperfections, they are without a doubt the closest thing to familial perfection for the majority of the text.  The nuclear family eventually (inevitably, according to Tolstoy) falls apart once the father dies, but Natasha and Nikilai's new immediate families carry on the love and familial connection.

My concern is with the countess and Natasha.  Tolstoy writes:

"After the death of her son and her husband...she (the countess) felt herself an accidentally forgotten being in this world, with no purpose or meaning.  She ate, drank, slept, woke, but did not live." (Epilogue I)

Basically, the countess becomes a burden on those around her.  She adds nothing to the family, only takes, because she has no purpose anymore.  Isn't this what Natasha is destined for now that she has completely abandoned herself to her family and exists only for them and not at all for herself?  This is the end that Tolstoy chooses for his central female character?  How can this be right?